Broad Reach

"Welcome Aboard!" 

I love it when air traffic controllers say this as you switch to their frequency. 

Welcome to the Broad Reach Blog

(This one's a doozy, so good luck)

I've had several Blogs. Some have been more consistent than others. Some have had three posts, some have had hundreds.

I tend to write a lot more when I have a sunny disposition, free time, and want to share what's been going on with me in a more meaningful way than my 8,644 Instagram posts. I recently looked back at my Instagram, and received a nice critique to help me understand "The purpose of social media". Evidently, posting six pictures of the same thing from different angles, or things that don't really matter much, isn't the point. Having some discretion about what's noteworthy is much more important.

Anyways, recently, I had a life changing epiphany (a different one than to stop posting so much useless stuff on the internet). I started a new position at the same company I've been working for. I moved to a new city. I bought a boat. I went from being pretty gosh darn-it-to-heck SAD, to being pretty ecstatic about life most of the time.

As I sit here in this wonderful DoubleTree hotel in Baltimore, in my handicapped room (yes, someone at my company thinks that I'm handicapped, so I always get the handicapped rooms) - I am going to spend some time writing about those four things that I just mentioned. I think it's important to not only share with others what I've gone through and learned in the last few months, but to be able to have this to look back on for myself in the future. 

WILSON!!!

For about a year and a half, I didn't have to work ever (almost). I still got paid, but I didn't have to work. I flew maybe 10 to 20 hours per month. Most people work AT LEAST 40 hours per week. Although I only flew that small amount, I still got paid. It's pretty hard to complain to regular people when you tell them something like that about yourself. For a long time, I sort-of viewed my job as being "retired". 

The thing is... With my job, I was "on call" from 10am-10pm for seven days in a row. I had to be within an hour or so of the airport I was based out of. That means no drinking, no real plans, no traveling, no skiing, nothing substantial could be planned in my life. For those seven days, I was "on call". Whether I was flying or not, I had to be ready to be in the air. I would then have three days off, another seven days on, then four days off, another seven days on, and on and on that rotation would go. Planning my life was pretty difficult. My three days off fell on Tues-Thurs. My four days would fall on Fri-Mon. Who wants to hang out with ya on a Tues-Thurs? No one. So essentially, I had one or two weekends off per month. One at the beginning, one at the end. Something like that. 

What I didn't realize for a long time, is that being "retired" isn't something that a 25 year old is designed to do. Sure, if I had been able to travel, spend all the time with my friends and family that I wanted, etc, it would have been better. But there's a reason that when people retire for real, at the end of their career - they HAVE to find other things to do. If you sit around, isolate yourself, and quit doing the things that you're passionate about? You're going to hate it. You're scientifically going to die much earlier on than someone that retires and continues to have a purpose in life. 

I also basically came to the realization that I wasn't retired. No. I was on house arrest. Being locked into that geographical location with hardly anything to do, no one to really socialize with on a daily basis... It was like being in isolation. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. 

Sure, I could have done a better job of finding things to do. I could have had more hobbies. "Mark, you need to find some hobbies." - That's what I heard every time I complained about being bored with my life. 

No. I didn't go to flight school and work my ass off for years to go be retired and start learning to whittle. I didn't get a private jet job in order to fulfill my ultimate goal of being a personal assistant or errand runner.

I'm shaking my head right now. No. NO. Not at all. Not one bit. 

I HAVE HOBBIES. I HAVE PASSIONS. They're flying, sailing, driving, traveling, and being with the people I love and care about. 

Do I like to do other things? Sure. Hiking, biking, video games, writing, and even - very occasionally, I'll read a frickin' book. 

So no, a lack of hobbies wasn't the problem. The problem was that I was completely and utterly alone. I felt unfulfilled with my job. I felt useless. I had no purpose at all. 

"What do you do, Mark?" 

"I get paid to do absolutely nothing." 

"It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care."

Even Peter, from Office Space realizes how unhappy he is doing fuck-all at "Initech" - At the end of the movie he's doing a decent day's work with his hands at a construction job. He can go home tired and feel like he did something with his life at the end of the day. There's a sense of accomplishment that I think a lot of people don't really get from their jobs - and that sense is so utterly important to be able to be happy doing whatever it is you do. 

Alright, so I think I've painted the picture pretty well. You can get paid well to do absolutely nothing, and you can still be quite unhappy with your life. Towards the end of my isolation, I was watching Cast Away and I could relate to Tom Hanks on that island... far more than any person should. Not good. 

As a result of my unhappiness, I could no longer bring myself to socialize properly. I couldn't really spend time with friends or family. I was irritable, I was sad, I had nothing to talk about. I felt worthless. 

I had been in a long distance relationship, which fell apart due to me being emotionally numb, unavailable, unhappy, and unfulfilled. There were other reasons of course (such as long distance to begin with) - but I didn't really get a true self-reflection of how low I had sunk until that relationship slammed into the silt at the bottom of whatever part of the Mariana Trench it had fallen into. 

That relationship ending, plus the sadness I had felt for so long was essentially the catalyst that I had needed my entire life. It was like someone held a mirror up to me and showed me my personality flaws for the first time ever. It was like I finally saw what it is to be human. What the meaning of life is. 

I had been so sad and isolated for so long... one day I was walking through the Denver Airport early in the morning to go on a trip to get away from my apartment for a while. I suddenly saw all the people around me. Like... Saw them. My whole life, I had been told by my parents and basically the society around me in general, "Mark, you can do anything, you are special, you are the center your universe, you matter, you take care of yourself, you do whatever you can to succeed." And that's exactly what I did. That's exactly how I felt. I had always been the center of the universe. I had always been more important than those around me. My parents, and many of my friends said that they never really felt like I acted that way. It's true, I cared about other people, but I was so much more self centered before I had this mirror held up to me. This mirror that said, "Hey buddy, you know how sad and alone you were? That can happen to anyone. That happens to a lot of people. Everyone else has emotions and feelings of their very own."

I realized all of this, all of a sudden while walking through the airport in Denver. It was a true epiphany. It was unlike anything I had experienced in my life. I had a rush of emotions like nothing I had felt before. 

At 27 years old, I realized - I'm not the center of the universe. All of these people around me are NOT just side-characters in MY life. No. They're real, living, breathing, people. They have their own emotions, troubles, worries, loves, etc. I had understood that in the past, but not like I did when I was walking through the airport. 

How I felt before the epiphany (right) and after (left) 

It truly was like going from being color-blind, to seeing color. It was bizarre. For a couple weeks, I legitimately thought that I may have been a sociopath or something beforehand... Luckily my psychiatrist friend told me, "No, you're not a psycho, you just finally grew up. This happens for many people when they're teenagers, but for some - it never happens." 

Immediately after this happened, I was sort of overwhelmed with emotions for a while, which felt very different for me. I had suppressed my feelings for so long - I didn't really understand what was going on. It was a lot to cope with, but eventually I got used to it and things started to mellow out a bit. 

I posted a video on Facebook explaining this revelation I had had, and I received a lot of positivity from my friends and family. I started talking regularly to one of my cousins that I usually see/talk to  once a year, and actually learned about her life. I called my Grandma up - she answered by saying, "Mark, what's wrong? Did you mean to call me? Are you okay? Is this a butt dial?" "No Grandma, OH MY GOSH, I ACTUALLY WANTED TO CALL AND SEE HOW YOU ARE" (Facepalm). We went to lunch, and I learned a great deal about her life that I had never cared to ask before. 

Suddenly, life had meaning. The meaning, was all based on me actually caring about the people around me, rather than just myself. 

So there you go. Epiphany. #1 down. 

#2 New position at the same company: 

I had been working this terrible house arrest schedule for a long time, flying the little Citation V jet very rarely. However, the end was in sight. I was offered a position to have a regular 8 days on 6 days off schedule, flying the Citation X (one of the fastest corporate jets there is). 

I finally could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was going to have a life that I could plan around again. I was finally going to go fly a plane for a living. I went to training in Wichita with my buddy who I had been flying the Citation V with. We did a great job together in training. It sure is a lot easier to work as a crew in a new simulator when you've been working as a crew in a real airplane for over a year beforehand. 

Due to my epiphany - I had decided that I no longer wanted to live in Colorado. I knew that a lot of my unhappiness had stemmed from my job (or lack-thereof) - but I also knew that I didn't do Colorado things anymore. I used to ski every weekend when I was a kid. Like. Every weekend. My dad was a volunteer ski patroller for 25 years, and growing up, I would go skiing whether I wanted to or not. It was always free too - so when my friends started inviting me in high school, I was like, "Wait, HOW MUCH IS IT?!" Nah. No thanks. I've done that enough. Just not something that I'm passionate about. I'd have fun if I went again I'm sure. It's just not like flying, sailing, driving, traveling, etc for me. It's not what I'm interested in doing in my free time. 

So I decided, okay, you really like to sail in your free time. How about you move somewhere that you can do that ALL THE TIME? 

Boom. San Diego. I was lucky that I had the inspiration from my ex to live on a boat, because she was doing it on a $6,000 Catalina 27 - and she doesn't even know how to sail! I finally realized that living on a boat, or sailing on the ocean didn't have to just be a retirement dream. It could be reality for me. Right now. 

So while I was in training in Wichita, I started looking on Craigslist. I found a Catalina 38 and called the guy up and chatted about it. I was pretty sure that I wanted the boat just from the first time that I looked at the Craigslist ad - but I wasn't entirely sure. It was right in my budget, but it had been used for racing, not for living on. It was going to need some work in order for me to be able to stay on it full time. But the best part about it? It was ready to sail. It had been sailed hard and fast for years, and it was well loved by a team of people from all walks of life. The previous owner was obviously proud of his boat. It had 13 sails included with it - many of which were quite expensive. I decided to have the "survey" done - which is just having a qualified boat inspector inspect your boat. 

Usually you would go see the boat in person, then decide whether or not you wanted a survey done. I had already moved out of my apartment, and I was really starting to get a bit anxious about having a place to live once I finished training in Kansas. I shouldn't have done that to myself... Getting a new type rating (training on a new airplane type) is stressful enough. Moving to a new city without a place to live locked down is... also quite stressful. Woops. So, called a boat survey guy, and had him inspect the boat while I was in Kansas. I got the report, and it came back that the boat was in decent shape, came with lots of sails, but the surveyor had his reservations about it. I put together a spreadsheet of things that I'd have to fix, and how much it'd cost if I bought the boat so that I would know what I was getting myself into.

Anyways, I ended up driving to San Diego from Colorado after passing training. I stopped and spent the night with my brother and his wife Kristen in Flagstaff on the way. We had dinner and played with cars and went to lunch with my friend Stephen and his wife Mindy. It was a lot of fun. 

Mr. Saunders admitted that he kinda sorta definitely wants a Miata now after driving my car

Pizza with the crew 

After stopping in Flag, I continued on to San Diego. I met the owner of the Catalina 38 - Jay. He was super nice and took me out on a sail with a his a wife and few people from his racing team. The boat is named Broad Reach. Broad Reach is a sailing term for a "point of sail", which basically means that you are sailing down-wind, with a quartering tailwind. 

I loved the boat. I loved the crew. I got free beer, sushi, and fried chicken. If you're selling a boat - take the prospective buyer out sailing and provide free alcohol and food. For sure. 10/10, would do/buy again. 

After buying the boat and getting sort-of settled in San Diego, I went out on my first Citation X rotation (we refer to our work-week as a rotation). I was lucky enough to fly with my buddy Javi who I had flight instructed with back in Boulder when I was first beginning to get my flight hours. 

I was S P O I L E D with my first rotation. Not only was it a blast flying with Javi - but we got to fly one of the nicest aircraft in the fleet, and we had an overnight in St. Maarten in the Caribbean. I had to pinch myself. I couldn't believe it was real. 

After my first week of work, having had four days off between training and the rotation, I had my first 6 days off. I went back to Broad Reach (by the end of my 8 days on the road, I was ready to go home and play on the boat). 

I spent much of that week cleaning the boat, figuring out logistics of getting insurance, finishing up the purchase process, getting everything set up with the marina and finding a storage unit for all the extra sails and equipment. Did I mention that it came with 13 sails?! What are all those sails for? I'll tell you! There are different types of sails, used for different things. There is the mainsail, which is the smallest sail on a sloop (a monohull boat with one mast and two sails generally), the headsail, or jib, or genoa. This sail sits in front of the mainsail. A jib sail is a triangle that goes from the bow of the boat to the mast basically. A genoa is a bigger version of a jib that continues past the mast. It's much bigger than the mainsail and produces a lot of sail "power." A spinnaker is the big parachute-like sail that is usually colorful and round shaped. These sails are used for downwind sailing. They have a huge amount of sail area and look cool as hell. Before buying Broad Reach, I had basically only sailed a sunfish sailboat (tiny) and a Hobie 16. The Hobie 16 has an enormous mainsail and a smaller jib. Using a genoa was different experience for me, because having a headsail that extended back past the mast was just something that I wasn't used to. 

I had never flown or used a spinnaker in my life. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity for my brother and his wife to come visit and help me set up the boat during my first week off. In addition to them coming down to help, the previous owner, his wife, and some of his racing crew came out for a second time and helped us sail around. I learned a lot during that day sailing. We flew an a-symmetrical spinnaker, which is different from a symmetrical spinnaker (it requires less work, and is rather "boring" for the bow-gal apparently). I look forward to flying a symmetrical spinnaker at some point. I'd explain the difference between the two - but I don't know what the differences are really, besides not having to use the spinnaker pole.... which I don't know anything about anyways. 

Here's a picture of the a-symmetrical spin out. This sail is named Tigger. 

Here are some pictures of the boat when it was set up for racing. And some pictures of what I did to try to make it more home-like. 

Keep in mind, that the word boat is just an acronym. BOAT. Break Out Another Thousand. That's what it stands for. In the eternal words of the previous owner, Jay, "If you're going to spend $1,000 - that is equal to one BOAT unit. If you spend less than $1,000 - that's just a boat tax." 

So yes, getting the boat nice and ready to live on is something that I knew I would be spending many BOAT units on. 

"This boat is damp... I wouldn't buy it if I were you, Mark" - The boat surveyor

Sail bags

Rigging/lines (ropes are not called ropes on a boat - sailors aren't cowboys. Every rope is called a line. And every line has a purpose. A sheet is a line that adjusts the trim/position of the sails. A halyard is a line that raises (hoists) or lowers a sail. There are lots of lines and lots of jargon to learn when you become a sailor). 

First thing I had improved - the settee (a long upholstered seat for more than one person, typically with a back and arms). 

The work was done by KC Upholstery in San Diego. Custom. Very well done and a great company to work with. 

Broad Reach starting to feel like home 

Before my brother and everyone came out to visit, I had the chance to sail with my friend Kevin, who I had flown hundreds of hours with at Cape Air. He lives in San Diego, and we took the boat out for my first time without the previous owner. We had a lot of fun, and it was great to catch up with Kevin. What a guy. 

Captain Kevin

My brother and his wife Kristen, and I at the helm during our day sailing with Jay and his crew.

It turned out, while sailing with Jay and his crew - I was fortunate enough to meet an extremely smart, independent, talented, driven, funny, (not bossy at all) sailor named Sara. The bow gal. The one that knows how to fly a spinnaker. We hit it off, and she showed me around San Diego the next day. I've been lucky enough to spend a great deal of time with her recently. I spent valentines day sailing with Sara, my best friend Ryan and his girlfriend Anna, as well as Sara's friend Lauren and her boyfriend Alex. We had the perfect day on the water. 

Valentines Day 2020

I met a couple fellow boat owners at the marina - Brian and Fai. I got to have lunch with Fai and her friends Cara and Chris. I invited them sailing one day since Fai was busy working. Sara and I had a great time with them! 

Speaking of Fai... 

We got to go out and sail together one of the days we both had nothing going on

So many adventures after only owning Broad Reach for less than a month

Sara and I sailed up to Mission Bay - (a two hour trek north). We buddy anchored with another couple from the marina I had met - Matty and Anita. We had dinner on a big power boat that's owned by yet another couple in the marina. Our dock-master at the marina and his buddy sailed up as well and joined us for the night. It was a lot of fun. 

Yep. Here it comes Sara... 

The next day, we sailed our way back to Sun Harbor, and both Sara and I got sea-sick. The swells were pretty uncomfortable that morning. Neither of us were having a great time on that sail back. Here's Sara after being delivered from a very-much-moving-too-much-boat to a non-moving dock. 

The book my brother got me about blue water sailing says it pretty well... 

"The sailing lifestyle... the highs are very high, and the lows are very low"

I couldn't help but think of that quote as we were both green in the gills riding the waves trying not to throw up that morning - miserable -  I remembered back to the night before, sailing into Mission Bay just as the sun was setting, with the sails set wing-on-wing, having the best time. 

(Wing on wing is when the headsail and mainsail are on opposite sides of the boat/mast when you're sailing downwind). 

Sunset as we sailed into Mission Bay

There are many more things that I want to write about, of which I touched on briefly in a mini-blog-post on my Instagram. The rest that I want to write about has to do with the community and friendliness of people in San Diego, particularly in the sailing community, but also basically everywhere else too. I have constant projects with this boat, but no shortage of help from friends as well as strangers. I couldn't be more happy with the decisions I've made recently. My life basically went 180 degrees off course from where it was headed when I was sad and alone in Colorado. 

I feel very fortunate right now. 

I will be continuing this saga with more adventures that include flying stories, sailing stories, sailing advice, flying advice - more in-depth details about the start up costs of buying a boat, how many boat units are required for what - and what boat taxes you'll have to pay.  

I am very thankful for my friends and family for supporting me so much during this transition. My parents, for backing me financially, seeing how badly I needed change, and turning opportunity into reality. My brother and sister-in-law for coming to help me clean and work on the boat. The previous owner, Jay, and his wife Dorothy, for being so kind and caring towards me. Sara, for showing me San Diego, for helping me sail with my friends and hers - for being a great instructor, whether we're saying the same thing at the same time or not. Making a new city feel like home. For all the people in my life that have reached out and been kind to me. My heart is full. 

Broad Reach

The bow pulpit and the roller furler for the genoa

Leave a comment if there's anything in particular you'd like to hear/learn about in my next post. I imagine the next one will be shorter since there will be less to catch up on.